IDENTIFY

Identify your choices so there are no surprises.

Find the pro’s and con’s of each choice.

Knowledge equals power which equals success.

Day 25 from lettertomygirlfriends from I Can Do This

A Wistful Leap?

What does your life look like when it is all that you want it to be? Can you imagine it? What are the changes you would make? Be specific. It is easy to be generically unhappy about life. This exercise is calling for you to think about all the nooks and crannies of your day and how they can be different.

You get to choose your life in your dreams. Go big, as they say

When you originally  gave your power to choose your life, that in itself was a choice. Most likely it was for a nobler purpose. To stay home with your children is a good example. This causes you to give over your power to your spouse/partner in order to devote yourself to the care of your children. This, of course, is an agreed upon relinquishment. Maybe illness of a family member forced you to be the care-taker. I am sure there are as many scenarios as there are people. But the question is, “Are YOU ready to take back your autonomy?”

Considering  how long you were dependent, you may be at a loss as to where to start.

In my personal story, I chose to leave a career to become a full-time stay-at-home mom. Seventeen years later, when my nest was in upheaval, I decided to stick my toe into the pool of employment once again. I did not go straight to my deserted profession however. Not even close. I was too insecure for that having lost the vocabulary to even attempt to reintegrate into the business world that I once felt so secure in.

I went for menial and part-time labor. It was that small incremental step I referred to earlier. It was the best attempt I could allow myself.

I did it. I survived. I was out the door and building confidence once again, in a workplace environment.

On now to the next level.

Take the small steps. If it helps you out the door, do it. I have heard that you should never accept a position that is beneath you. I am not sure exactly what these people are referring to. Remember, no one knows your truth better than you. You need to exist where you are ready to exist. This is not a place anyone else is able to discern.. That said, I do think that it is important to use these positions purposefully in order to make an upward climb. Build your confidence at whatever pace you need, but do not forget to continue.

There is an excerpt from The Shoemakers Wife, by Adriana Trigianni……”she has begun the slow, careful climb of re-invention.”

This is exactly the approach we need to take. Be slow, deliberate and  careful. Make informed decisions along with wistful leaps, if need be, to start your climb out. Let your imagination be your guide.

Guilt Free Re-Invention

I learned at an early age that I had to look out for myself emotionally. The path my life took was not completely conventional but certainly not horrific either. Everything turned out fairly well in the end. Early in my life I was drawn to introspection in order to understand my situation.

As an infant, I was left by my biological mother. I cannot help but wonder if most of my life was affected by this imprint of abandonment and, consequently,  insecurities that were then destined to haunt me because of it. I do believe that it is inherent in us to react to our environment, even at such a young age. Of course these things need to be weighed according to each circumstance. We all make the decisions we do based on the the moment we live them. Every decision is individual to that person and cannot be judged by another, rightly.

I made many decisions in my life, that could be, and have been, criticized. You could believe the critics or chose to see yourself in your own truth.A truth that no one else could ever know. I chose to do what is right for me. There isn’t another person who knows what that looks like.

I GET TO CHANGE DIRECTION WHEN IT IS BEST FOR ME.

Now I can hear the rumblings of self-justification from the critics as I sit here, but I have, with much thought, come to these truths honestly and without pause.

Considering a change is a good start.

It means you no longer accept staying the same. Only you know what that looks like. You re-assess your path singularly and with the most expert input.

This will not be a piece of cake. It is hard work to stay focused on the course in the face of so many possible outcomes. It is overwhelming to say the least. The millions of bits of information available would seem to make the task ahead easier. Instead, you have the added complication of eliminating options while proving and qualifying options. The proverbial TOO MUCH TO PICK FROM. It can be exhilarating. Accept it as a challenge, not an obstacle.

Happiness is at the finish line.

I knew a graduate student, studying here in the U.S., from a country in Africa. The first time he went to the grocery store to purchase breakfast cereal, he became paralyzed with option overload. It’s not too hard to imagine if you have had to buy breakfast cereal lately. Well, in a life course decision, having too much to choose from is exponentially paralyzing. These choices are important, after all, aren’t they?

Don’t give up. Break it into small pieces if that is all you can handle on a particular day. Maybe tomorrow you can accomplish more. Maybe not. The goal is just to do something, everyday. This is how you reach your goal. One foot in front of the other.

Consider this-you still have the same 24 hours in your day, only now those hours are wide open. Now you can re-invest in yourself. Guilt free. Re-invent yourself. It’s time to take the power back that you relinquished all those years ago.

Take it back because your children no longer need it. Take it back because you need it for yourself.Take it back because you want it.

Continuation of a Rant

I left off with “Be brave”. I know its easy to say when there is really not a lot to stand up to in life. I am not so naive to think there are not crushing issues people have to deal with. This is about making a choice to look beyond your circumstances. We could compare all day long and always find someone who will trump us in the horrible experience arena.

I am just dabbling in a creative project and hoping that it is helpful to others who can afford to look past their existence.

I am not a perfect person or an expert. I am not a health professional. I am just a woman at a crossroads looking for something more and questioning how to go about getting it. I even question if I should look for more. But I have concluded there has to be more than just clocking in everyday.

I am not giving advice to you. I am just sharing. I am reluctant to give advice. I have done that before and had to live with the consequences for my children. In their desire to please and impress, children will act on advice so fast sometimes that will make your head spin. Caution is always the rule.

I mentioned thoughtful as what I strive to be and hope everyone is. I do not know enough to advise you. I heard long ago that you should never seek advice from anyone who is less successful than you, in your area  of interest. Very wise indeed. Applying this would qualify me for some things but conversely also disqualifies me for many things. However, I am an expert at my experiences and what they taught me and you may be able to glean from them, help for yourself.

I am humbled today by the small sampling of blogs I perused. So much talent out there. So much to write about in terms of difficulties overcome or working on.

I bow to all of you. This is just a collection of hopefully helpful inspirations I want to share with those who want help maintaining focus on achieving goals for renewed independence and autonomy using positive reinforcement.That is what I am doing and have been doing for the last year.

I asked myself, “What am I to do with my life now?” I do not want to remain in the status quo. I am not ready to do nothing. Are you? What is retirement? If it looks like doing nothing, then I am out. If it has travel and fun and friends, unlimited resources and not a care in the world, I am in! Pretty sure the second scenario exists for a scant few in today’s world.

When we were young, newly hatched young people, we went out into the world with almost fearless anticipation of what we could accomplish. Our power was limited then because of our inexperience but over time add to those coffers and grow. Eventually we have some power and authority to run our own lives. Everyday obstacles that are overcome add to our power and independence. Prove you are capable and you continue. Now that I think of it, it is not unlike a video game but with real consequences. Some of us build careers. Some of us slog along without ambition to achieve more. Some of us long for a simple existence. We can, and do, chose. It is in the choosing that we may make some decisions that take root and sprout as problems today.

This is to encourage women, who like myself, decided to raise a family, which ultimately led to becoming a stay at home mom. This will also benefit anyone who  needs encouragement to change themselves or their lives. Take back your personal power. Reclaim your independence.

I CAN DO THIS

I CAN DO THIS!

So can you.

I am climbing out of this place I am existing. Would you like to join me? I will throw you a line so maybe I can pull you up and out with me.

If you are a person who feels like they are caught in a wheel, unable to impact their future, then you may benefit from this collection of inspirational prompts. This is not a proven course. It is only a journey I have made and willing to share with you. It’s a month worth of daily inspirations to help you along your journey. After some preliminary background we will start each day with an inspiration that starts with the letter I. The I in I Can Do This is the impetus for the inspiration.So let’s begin the story.

I do not know where the journey ends, mine or yours. Maybe we never get to the end. The process is the goal.

Don’t rely on old behavior patterns that would involve apathy or waiting for something or someone else to change. Don’t expect others to care or be able to do for you what you expect. Only you are in charge of changing you.

Think about what you want and make choices to begin to implement those things everyday. I would bet everything I own on the fact that if you keep those goals in front of you and work towards them everyday that you cannot help but achieve them.

Take back the power over your life. Everything you do moves you towards your goal. Experience and knowledge are invaluable and can be applied to any and all attempts to achieve.

Changing your life is not simple or necessarily fast. This is a road that leads to a new self -definition and discovery. It will be work

Ask yourself: What do I want? What does IT look like? What do I need to DO in order to achieve this?

It takes time to imagine these things. Focus on what matters most to you at the moment. What no longer serves you? Jettison those things that drain you of life and happiness as much as is possible. Do not listen to negative opinions or feedback from others.People who want to really help offer solutions not opinions.  Do not act on negative input. Be brave.