I learned at an early age that I had to look out for myself emotionally. The path my life took was not completely conventional but certainly not horrific either. Everything turned out fairly well in the end. Early in my life I was drawn to introspection in order to understand my situation.
As an infant, I was left by my biological mother. I cannot help but wonder if most of my life was affected by this imprint of abandonment and, consequently, insecurities that were then destined to haunt me because of it. I do believe that it is inherent in us to react to our environment, even at such a young age. Of course these things need to be weighed according to each circumstance. We all make the decisions we do based on the the moment we live them. Every decision is individual to that person and cannot be judged by another, rightly.
I made many decisions in my life, that could be, and have been, criticized. You could believe the critics or chose to see yourself in your own truth.A truth that no one else could ever know. I chose to do what is right for me. There isn’t another person who knows what that looks like.
I GET TO CHANGE DIRECTION WHEN IT IS BEST FOR ME.
Now I can hear the rumblings of self-justification from the critics as I sit here, but I have, with much thought, come to these truths honestly and without pause.
Considering a change is a good start.
It means you no longer accept staying the same. Only you know what that looks like. You re-assess your path singularly and with the most expert input.
This will not be a piece of cake. It is hard work to stay focused on the course in the face of so many possible outcomes. It is overwhelming to say the least. The millions of bits of information available would seem to make the task ahead easier. Instead, you have the added complication of eliminating options while proving and qualifying options. The proverbial TOO MUCH TO PICK FROM. It can be exhilarating. Accept it as a challenge, not an obstacle.
Happiness is at the finish line.
I knew a graduate student, studying here in the U.S., from a country in Africa. The first time he went to the grocery store to purchase breakfast cereal, he became paralyzed with option overload. It’s not too hard to imagine if you have had to buy breakfast cereal lately. Well, in a life course decision, having too much to choose from is exponentially paralyzing. These choices are important, after all, aren’t they?
Don’t give up. Break it into small pieces if that is all you can handle on a particular day. Maybe tomorrow you can accomplish more. Maybe not. The goal is just to do something, everyday. This is how you reach your goal. One foot in front of the other.
Consider this-you still have the same 24 hours in your day, only now those hours are wide open. Now you can re-invest in yourself. Guilt free. Re-invent yourself. It’s time to take the power back that you relinquished all those years ago.
Take it back because your children no longer need it. Take it back because you need it for yourself.Take it back because you want it.
