It's time. We have absorbed those inspirational prompts that we needed. The places in our foundation of self-confidence that needed attention. Those encouragements that spoke to us, helped to fill in some cracks that formed throughout the years. I Can Do This was the base on which to build our future but reality is that we are not an island. We all need help when we are ready to go out and start over.
I went out in the world last year and was surprised to find that my experiences did not count without some official credentials.
Confidence helped but is not enough.
I am an expert in many areas. I was an event planner, a caterer, a hostess, teacher, nurse, housekeeper, launderer, chauffeur, coach, therapist, artist. I created a beautiful home, nurtured and raised healthy, intelligent children that went out into the world to be successful and happy. I was a mother, nurturer, wife and friend.
Love is what feeds the engine to move you through life. Overlooking pains and disappointments is what all women do to maintain the life they believe is meant to be. We are stronger than we know and forever faithful to those we love.
All of this is not enough sometimes. Our loyalty is not always repaid in kind. So, out we go, after having tried to ignore angry outbursts and name calling from people that should adore you. It is not enough to want something. It is not enough to not want to disappoint your children. You know and I know that we are only our best when we are allowed to be.
I used to be one of those women who would say, "Why don't those women who are abused, just leave?" They cannot go until they feel strong enough to stand on their own. The conundrum is that the longer they wait the weaker they become. I heard a phrase, "death from a thousand cuts." That explains a lot of women's lives. It takes great strength to live in an abusive situation and survive, detached from it emotionally, while trying to find an exit.
Well, out in the world of employment, it is not enough to have never missed a day. Never a day off when sick, pregnant or nursing. Never a day off for bad weather or good weather. I did not take the day off when my mother died. Your family is what makes you move when you don't want to. Children still need food and care.
Why then doesn't the workplace recognize this about women/mothers?
We are selfless.
So we have to get up and do something else now. Pretend to have a vocabulary that we do not practice in order to make a go of it. We have more to learn. It is a necessity.
I went out in the world. I had to come back. How disappointing to know that I could not make it.
So here I am back in the throes of the one situation it took all of my courage to leave.
I must stay positive through the good days and bad days. I must keep improving myself in order to make the escape stick next time.
I need help.
We all need help sometimes. Especially when the results are so important. That is why we need girlfriends.
I need girlfriends.
It is not uncommon to alienate yourself from many friends and family when you are in a bad relationship. There is embarrassment and shame involved. Even your best friends frequently are uninformed about the level of desperation you exist in. Extended family doesn't know what is happening. They probably see you less and less as time goes on. It is difficult to pretend.
Girlfriends know you better than anyone else. You need a sounding board that is free. You need to know someone cares. You need to know that someone is there to catch you if the need arises.
I want girlfriends and I want to be a girlfriend.
What is life if not trying to help one another make it. We need to be there to help one another.
Pull each other up and out. Some of us don't need out, but we do need help or and ear or just a sounding board, some sage advice form a third party.
Many of us need to leave, want to leave, but then wonder why they should. Too much time has gone by. They are too old now. No longer viable in the eyes of most observers. Some of us ask ourselves, "What can you expect at this point in our life? You have stayed this long, why not just put up with it." I do not know the answers to these questions.
I do know that we are all worth the effort to make our day something to look forward to. Everyday. I know that our home should be the place we enjoy being, not dreading.
There are so many issues to be addressed in this situation. They cannot all be addressed here and now. but, together we can figure it out.
Keep a good thought. Keep going one step and one day at a time. Surely it will work if we join our forces.
What are you thinking? What are your struggles and concerns that girlfriends can help you with? What are your experiences that you can share that might help others who need help?
Keep in touch. Make friends. I am cheering you on from here.
